A Roller-coaster Ride Last Week

Let’s start the day with some good and positive things:

WhatsApp Image 2020-04-27 at 4.36.38 PM

This my cat, after ‘lari rumah’ this morning. Haiyoo la this boy, this PKP la want to go out, #stayathome la you got Royal Canin tauuu.

So, back to the story. Currently, I’m 30 minutes away from ‘berbuka puasa’ so I’d like to write some entry about how devastated I was last week. The pressure last week was … walaweyh on top of Mount Fiji. I’ve had enough of last week.

I was in charged of the largest ward in the department, which could hold up to 40+ patients at one time. And the whole week, our ward was packed with patient. We were at a time where most of our senior HOs leaving the department soon, so they were at ‘end of posting’ period. They got ‘cuti rehat’ and all, so usually there would be around 6 HOs working in daytime (+/- yang offday, on call and post call), then reduced to only 4 HOs in EOP period.

Dia macam susah sikit nak explain the situation but believe me it was hectic.

Our daily routine actually senang je, every day we would have rounds with specialists and MOs, BD (twice a day) – those are <am review> and <pm review>. So, our job is to come at 7.00 am or earlier to finish reviewing all patients before our bosses come to do rounds. Review means to update on current conditions of the patients and to see if there are any active plans for that patient. If we do our job chop chop fast and provided that there are enough HO working that day, if we start our reviews at 645am pun should be no problem at all, we can still finish on time.

While doing our rounds with bosses, they will give us new plan about the patient, what to do next, whether to keep the patient or discharge them home. Yang selalu kena bambu tu time ni laa, bila kau present case yang kau tak review pagi tu, kau taktau pun apa jadi kat dia malam tadi sebab kau kena selak selak kertas yang banyak nak mampos tu untuk baca balik semua entry. Pastu kena la marah “this is your patient, you should know the case!” while they are freaking too many patients and impossible to hafal them all 😦 but if we give those excuses, we are the ‘manja’ one laaa. But seriously, it’s impossible to hafal each plans of the patient.

And if kau present case yang kau review pagi tu pun, kau akan kena bambu kalau tak pandai present case, tak tahu nak noted yg mana yang penting. You just say everything there, and get scolded “is it significance to say that?” This new life of mine is full of scoldings je. After the am review, the biggest part is to do the discharge summary. For me it is hard to complete even one perfectly. There is always mistakes, there is always tak puas hati here and there. Some of us will carry out other plans, if there is a plan to refer inter-department or for medical/surgical/paeds to review.

Everytime we moved into a new station:

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Reading all the cases require some time and focus wei. Last week, patients in my ward full house. Our schedule last week, we also in charged of Operation Theater call. If there is any elective cases or emergency cases, one of us will go in and attend. Let’s take my schedule:

My OT schedule (PMC1) was on last Wednesday. So, I will attend all elective LSCS cases + other cases until they are finished (luckily that day only one elective). And if there are emergency cases in between elective cases, I will also attend. I’m the only HO in charge on that day, while we also have backup HO (PMC2) if  second OT opened.

This was the day I was so afraid of actually because I never assisted one before. But bantai sajalah, kena marah pun marahlah. At the end of the day, I assisted 3 LSCS, 2 MRP and 1 ERPOC. Not quite eventful pun but, penat bodo. hahaha penat nak mampos.

Then came one day where there were only 4 HOs working in the ward, we couldn’t finish reviewing the patients … wrong… actually, we missed two patients. We have enough time to review all the patients but unfortunately missed two patients – too bad it’s D2 Post LSCS which we would have to do WI before discharge. Memang teruk la kena bambuuu.

Every day I woke up early to try to arrive at the hospital as early as possible. Itu pun kena marah kena chop HO datang lambat. I was there early kot. I know I did my job quite slow so I made an effort to arrive early so I can finish on time. But still, I couldn’t finish on time. And sadly, the effort dipandang sebelah mata je kan. So sad. Kata – kata bila kena bambu time tu sangat menusuk hati sebab I was there early kot but stil .. nvm la.

Then time pm review, memang tak sempat pun habis. kena bambu lagi and this time we got warning already. If tomorrow morning, we still couldn’t finish the reviews we will all get our first warning letter. Gila kau dua hari berturut – turut I was sleep deprived and drove my car while I was asleep. Thank God nothing bad happened on the road. There was one time, in the ward the were only 2 HOs working, doing reviews of 25+ patients, one would have to review 10+ patients at one time. Gila, because I can only review 6 patients in 1hr30minutes time kot. Aku slow sebab aku ambik masa nak baca entries and progression pesakit.

Alhamdulillah tak kena bambu petang tu. O dear Lord, give the dr a blessing ameen.

All of these are my ward routine. If I am stationed at LR/PAC, then it will be a different story la. This week I will be at Gynae ward for a whole week. Personally I don’t really like this ward because usually the cases would be too damn thick to read with so many complications. And the ward cramped with beds and cardiac tables and folders. Malas nak panjang cerita but basically I ada other personal reason la not to like this ward.

O&G posting is hard. Housemanship is hard. I don’t know if I can finish these two years. Definitely not smooth. And I think in whatever hospital, they have the same O&G vibes. Cold, and creepy hahahaha everything is so tense. I am not enjoying it so far.

Please pray for my mental health. I’ll be seeing someone for my stress/anxiety soon. And I hope these 4 months would pass by quickly. Thank you for reading. Doakam jugak this week is a smooth sailing, ameen.

Thanks for all your love – Najwa.

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