What should I do? – To stop this uneasiness.

Right now, my skin is throwing a tantrum – breaking out at the forehead and chin, over the jawline pretty bad. I stop using the new cleanser I used 3 months ago. It’s been two months since I ditched the cleanser and going back to the old routine. I just add some AHA liquid to my routine as to make the skin renewal easier and quicker.

I know, I need at least 6 months for all these acnes to stop. Whenever I convince myself, it is going to be better, new acne comes resurfacing everyday. I just got this old acne gone, left there with a hyper pigmentation or scar, then new one keeps on coming. Sometime I just lose all the faiths in restoring my old skin.

I’ve never been flawless in my life. My skin was never perfect. But still, it was better before than now.

I had problems in finding confidence from within myself. And now, the problems are even more. I am a teenager so it’s almost normal to have feelings for someone. Whenever I had my eyes on someone’s cute, I have this thoughts kept telling me ‘you ain’t good enough. He won’t even blink.’

Then I sat down quietly, I enjoyed my song playlists more than interacting with people recently. Because I felt like people are somewhat going through every inch of my face and judging me while talking to me.

My mom said people like each other’s because of what they offer to you. Their personality should touch your heart, their laughters, smiles and eyes when excite. Appearance would not last long.

However, there are so much people around me with pretty faces, and skins, great curves and talents- making me a loser to ‘personality-wise’ competition.

I know I shouldn’t complain of what I don’t have and start to appreciate what I have. What’s given to me is what’s the best for me. It is sad to only care about small matters whereas there are others who need great attentions and priorities.

I just have to write this down, let someone know, and tone down my anxiety a little bit. If you have anything to say to me, you are more than welcome.

I need to finish studying. My ‘Obstetrics and Gynaecology’ exam is coming.

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